the most i have ever done on a treadmill is 4km and i'll feel like dying after that. i signed up earlier this year for the great eastern women's 5km fun run to  motivate myself to hit the gym more regularly. alas, it didn't work; i ended up at the gym only once or twice a month.

determined to go for the 5km run this morning, i ordered mcdonald's breakfast in advance (last night at 11pm) to be delivered by 6am, as i had to be at the flag off point  at the padang by 7.40am. at 5.30am, my alarm went off and i woke up sleepy and grumpy and called to cancel my breakfast order, which was denied because mcdonald's claimed the delivery guy was on the way.

tossing in bed for half an hour, i decided i won't go for the run since i haven't been running conscientiously to train my body up and i'll rather continue to sleep in. then at 6am (mcdonald's wasn't lying!), the delivery guy called me and after collecting and paying my breakfast, i went back to bed. but i couldn't sleep cos there was a big voice (the boyfriend sleeping next to me) and a tiny voice inside my head telling me i should just go for the run. so i got out of bed, washed up and had my breakfast.

i was still feeling sleepy when i arrived at the flag off point but seeing so many women in one place all geared up to run, i got excited about the run as well. when the air horn sounded, i could feel my legs wanting to run. so i ran and ran and ran without stopping to walk, except once at the water point.

i ran on the roads leading to nicoll highway, then i ran past the pit building then the singapore flyer and towards the esplanade, under the bridge and before i knew it, i was running towards the end point. i think i finished the 5km in about 45 minutes.

it is truly an amazing experience and i feel really proud of myself for not giving in to sleep in. now i am looking forward to the standard chartered 10km run which i have signed up for already.

p/s: thanks and loves the boyfriend to bits for waking up so early and accompanying there for the run, just to be a carrier for my wallet and handphone.

I think God made humans barefooted for a reason; we are just not meant to wear shoes, especially not heels! I've been in my new job for close to a week now and wearing heels to work every day to create an impression that I obviously cannot pull off.

I don't like wearing any covered footwear cos I feel restricted in them, like my feet can't breathe and has lost its freedom to move about. So I really don't understand the logic of girls wanting to wear heels! My all time favourite footwear is flip flops.

So anyways, I have been walking around in heels and suffering blisters and cramped feet! While heels look really pretty on display and on feet that don't require walking, it certainly does not make me look pretty as I try my best not to show the pain and agony on my face.. my inner self is crying out to sit down and just remove my shoes to walk bare foot. What baffles and amazes me most is how some girls wear heels and are able to walk in them effortlessly for long hours. So yet again, I am just not your typical girly girl *shrugs*.

i have a checklist of "things to do before i die" and one of them is to skydive. life is too short not to take any risks so i went ahead and did it when i was back in perth for my convocation. plus daddy paid for it as my graduation present. something i'm glad i did and if i had the chance, i would do it again and again and again...

if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

it's funny how we used to sing this song when we were kids and it did make us happy and giggly. but as adults, how often do you really feel happy? not many things make us happy easily; maybe because we are never satisfied and always wanting more.

but what i have realised is that most adults only know what they don't want, but not what they want. i know i am like that.

so i have decided, the best is to go for what you think/feel will make you happy even if it is only for the moment, because nothing beats keeping yourself happy.

when you are happy, everyone and everything else around you becomes happier too.

hmmm... perhaps i should just go be a zookeeper and actually look forward to going to work everyday and be happy.

human beings are a walking contradiction, maybe not everyone, but for sure i know i am.

when we are single, we think about how nice it is to be attached. when we are attached, we miss the freedom of being single.

this is a dilemma i feel from time to time. not to say that i am unhappy in my relationship but i truly believe that no relationships are perfect. for those of you out there reading/knowing about other couples' lives that seem oh-so-perfect, trust me, those couples have their own problems or issues too.

my relationship has its fair share of problems, started mostly by me since i usually have unknown and unspoken expectations (which is only normal cos i am a woman.. heh). 

i had a lot of fun when i was single but at the same time, there was the feeling lonely issue to deal with. but i realised what's worst is that you can actually feel lonely even when you are attached. plus that feeling of waiting for your partner to call or text you or wondering what he/she is up to, can be rather annoying.

i know many would say there is no need to wait, just do your own things and keep occupied. i do make my own plans and do my own stuff but there is that nagging feeling of waiting at the back of my mind. and it really doesn't help when your partner's schedule and timing is very fluid. makes it worse that i am more of a structured person, meaning i like to make plans so being fluid irritates me. for example: i make advance plans when i know my partner will be busy on a particular day, then at last minute, my partner is free which makes me feel shitty for having plans. but then if i don't make plans and wait for him to be free and he ends up not being free, then i'll get upset.

so when i weigh the pros and cons, it seems like being single is better since there is only the issue of loneliness to deal with; which will go away after some time.but being attached comes with a lot more unexpected stuff and emotions of the other party and yourself and it can be really tiresome.

this is just my opinion, but i don't think it's possible to ever be a strong independent woman yet be needing someone emotionally. maybe men can do it since they can comparmentalise their thoughts and feelings. but for women, if you are strong and independent, won't you be emotionally independent too hence do not need a relationship?

perhaps one day when i finally get the right balance of independence and dependency then my relationship will be almost perfect.